of underwater

"    Being with you was like a drug: the more we'd spend time together, the more I wanted to see you, the more I wanted to be with you. The more I wanted you.  

   Appealing as it was, a person should understand that things like that don't last forever, that even though your glass is a size large, your drink will end, eventually. It just never made any sense to me that happiness could end. That someone could change from being so warm and lively, to being so ignorant  and cold in just a few moments. It never occurred to me that the saying "what goes up, must come down", could work for this, too, like it did for drinking. I'm starting to see the bottom of my glass and despair is the word that rises up. 

  I used to think of myself as a brave person, one that could take anything, with a little help from time and some of my old friends, that used to live in my bar. The liqueur is finished and the brandy is long gone. Time passes by when the lights are on. Night time is the hardest. I allow myself to dream about demons in the dark. About you in the dark.

    Yes, I used to think I was brave. But the night time sucks me in, and once again I get my dose. Once again I plea for this to end, but like heroin or cocaine, you just won't make this easier for me. "The rules are set." Some things never let go.  "

listen to my moment